Who Comes Out When You Get Squeezed?

Do you ever find yourself spun out? With none of your “stress management tools” in reach? “Trigger” unhappy? Or as my mom used to call me when it would happen to me, “The Tasmanian Devil!”

The “Taz” (as I call her) shows up for me when I get squeezed.

So who shows up when you get squeezed and how do you deal with it? 

Taz doesn’t show up as often, but when she does she has a lesson and I am learning her perfect storm: total mental exhaustion, miscommunications around people or animals I love deeply, and being asked to do one more thing.

At my recent event, Taz showed up and yes indeed it was the perfect storm. These events are incredibly high energy. They are demanding both emotionally and professionally. However, the relationships, opportunities and knowledge you gain are so incredible it is always well worth the ride.

I was exhausted, needed to rest and was prompted to communicate about the care of my pup with the caregivers while I was away…and voila! Taz had arrived.

My dog Ali, as many of you know or are learning, is my family, my child and my protector…all wrapped up in one!  To have miscommunications about his care while I am hundreds of miles away, to say the least, left me feeling out of control. So in came Taz to get the energy moving out of my body and get my ass in the bed!

The problem is that when we are done (like emotionally cooked), we struggle (yes all of you over achievers out there) to take a stand for ourselves and say, “this has to wait until tomorrow”, which in hindsight is what I could have done.

As a “pro” at managing my stress (and I do use that term loosely since this event showed me where I still have room to grow), I found myself crying in the shower from exhaustion and at a total loss on night one because of the fear and worry over my sweet Ali dog.

When you don’t have the variables setting you up for the perfect storm, you can roll with changes and trust in the process so much easier.

We all have an internal battery and we “know” best when to call it a day with all communications. But sometimes shit happens, and we are asked to forge ahead and so we do.

Like a lizard on a greased up slide at the playground, we try to do that “one more thing” and then we can rest. That’s when we tend to find ourselves the next day going, “Really? Is that the best way I could handle that?”.

Truth be known, we always do the best we can in any situation so cut yourself some slack and see how you can do better next time.

Instead of letting your self-critic beat you up (yep I am talking to you), take a deep breath, own your share of the screw up and see what really set you off. Then we can think about how we can manage our “triggers” better next time and what is the perfect storm that makes them come to fruition.

Read here to learn my 5 tips to manage your triggers. There’s one for everyone and every kind of processor, so see what resonates with you.

If you want to skip the tips and go to my meditation audio, click here. The meditation/relaxation audio is best done lying down. You only need 7 minutes, so enjoy!

1. Find a safe place and beat the hell out of a pillow, scream, yell, try not to scare the dog…and get your anger moving. My colleague Elicia Miller does inner child work and this is one her techniques that really works!

2. Take 5 and walk away. Easier said than done right? Awareness is the first step and bringing attention to  “that thing that is really setting me off again”. Once you can call it out, then you can make a different decision next time it rears its head. It takes practice, mindfulness and screwing up again until you can start to change hard-wired behaviors.

3. Earthing: go and lay in the yard, walk your feet on the earth, do what you can do wherever you are to get connected with mother earth…ASAP. Reconnect with your five senses.

4. Get out of your head and into your body with some movements to “let it go”. With your feet under your hips, bring the arms high over the head, press the palms away and then let the arms swing down toward the floor with a big exhale…and let it go. Do 5 cycles.

5. Lie down and try a meditation. Often having a guide, mentor or music that you love is the perfect thing to connect you to your higher self. Explore what works best for you and do it.